|New, and out as nongendered today...
||[Dec. 4th, 2008|07:12 pm]
This is x-posted to my journal and transfurry, but I am new to this community and just came out to my parents. Here's the play-by-play, if you're interested. |
"I imagined it so much better. I actually came out to my parents as nongendered today. I have been working up the nerve for quite a while now, but everything just went... wrong.
I've been talking about things on the edge of that, and have mentioned wanting to change my name to something less gender affiliated. This time, though, my mother actually guessed it. She was yelling at the dinner table, "She wants to be androgynous! Well that's too bad, because you're female and you can't change that!" Neither she nor my father, I realize now, knew at the time that that is exactly what I am! My father took the position of "It's fine to have radical ideas, but don't be so crazy with them!" While my mother was attacking me for challenging society's norms and the ultimate authority of my genitals, Father berated me for being "high strung" about the issue. Mother ultimately accused me of "abusing" her when I tried to logically defend myself from her repeated verbal attacks, and when Father again pounded me about being tense, I finally broke down. I told them that I had been trying for some time to be able to tell them this, and now I was being attacked, and was therefore not only high strung, but angry, scared, and feeling rejected and ignored. This was when they said what. They seemed suddenly not to know that I was not female, had never been. So I told them that straight out.
And now I am in a deep vat of the nastiest familial brainwaves I have experienced."
So, any comments? Such as, how do I fix this?! ^-^